30 Days Of Gratitude Day 23

I am thankful for safe travels; I missed blogging yesterday as we (my daughter, so in law and grandson) were traveling to Missouri for a visit with my mom and brothers for Thanksgiving. We had a smooth trip with no close calls and very little heavy traffic. We encountered rain starting in Tennessee but even with that we were fine and we definitely can't complain about that with all the drought and wild fires. It was my grandson's first road trip and he did fantastic. I would love to post a video we took of him playing with the steering wheel on a break but mu daughter, wisely, doesn't allow pictures etc of him on the internet. You will just have to trust me that he was uber cute.
Thank you God for save travels and for the much needed rain.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 22

I am grateful today for many things; it's going to be hard to pick just one.
I think, since I did mercy yesterday today I will do grace. The definition of grace is approval or privilege. The Biblical definition is a: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b : a virtue coming from God .c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace. A favorite acronym of God's Riches At Christ's Expense.
Now I have also experienced grace in my life. My children are grace to me; I have the amazing privilege to be their mom. I pray I never forget that. I have also felt approval as a mom. Not only do my children help me feel approval but others do when they mention something positive about my children that I know I had influence on, such as manners. I felt approval from my brother Joe when we reconciled a little while before his death. When I visited him and he enfolded me in his arms; I felt grace.
Yet those graces, while wonderful don't compare the the grace of God. My heart was black and cold with bitterness, anger and pain. I abhorred anything to do with God, Jesus, or the Bible. I refused to believe God was real. I wanted nothing to do with anyone who espoused belief in God and would argue with anyone who tried to tell me what the Bible said. I had read the Bible many times as a teenager; it was all I was allowed to read. I thought I understood perfectly what it said. Yet is was this same bitterness, anger and pain that eventually left me so alone and empty that I couldn't stand it anymore. I cried out to God to show me if He was real. I will post more about what happened at a later date, but He did show me and He gave me His Grace. Instead of giving me the punishment I deserved for not recognising Him and serving Him; for hating Him instead of adoring Him all those years, he gave me forgiveness and washed my black heart white as snow. And He does it anew every day; every hour every minute. WOW!
Thank You God for Your grace; I can never say thank You enough.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 21

I am thankful today for mercy.the definition of mercy is compassionate treatment.
I have been shown a lot of mercy in my life. I have. I think anyone in a relationship with another person whether it's parent/child, sibling, or spousal et al, gets shown a lot of mercy and hopefully also shows a lot of mercy. My children have so incredibly merciful in recalling their childhood. I know I was not nearly as good a mom as they say i am. Yet this is not the mercy I am most grateful for. The mercy I am most grateful for is the mercy of God. While we tend to show mercy as it is shown to us it is not so with God for not only can we not show God mercy; He does not need mercy. His mercy is true and pure. Without His mercy I would not be able to know Him; Thank You God for Mercy.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 20

I guess in retrospect I should have saved my post about being thankful for my son for today because today is his birthday. You might want to check out his blog here.
I told the pastor and he called him out in front of the whole church.My daughter would not have been happy had I done that to her but Jonathan just rolled with it; he's cool like that.
I digress though.  I am grateful for him but since I already wrote about him I guess I can't use him as my post.
I am thankful for HOPE; something I don't always feel and  actually spent most of my life without.  I lose my way a lot and forget that I have hope; but I do.  I have hope because I know Jesus and He is Hope. I know what it is to be hopeless, not just to feel hopeless ( I put myself there sometimes too) but I'm talking about without hope. To have nothing to look forward to but pain and nothing to live for. I have stood in front of a mirror with a knife at my heart begging for the courage to end my life. Sat with a packet of razor blades in my hands trying through the tears to see how to open the locked plastic package,  I have found myself wishing I owned a gun so I could stick in mouth and pull the trigger, I am guilty of making a plan for when I finally work of the courage. Oh yes I know what it is to have no hope .  Yes I know hopelessness all too well.  But praise be to God Almighty I finally found Hope in Him.  Does that mean every day from then on has been rosey?  If you've read any of my blog before, or spent much time with me; you know the answer is no.  It's not all hearts and sunshine; God does not promise us an easy life but most of my troubles I bring on myself by forgetting I have Hope.  I take my eyes off of Him and put them on my situation, on my hurts, on my disappointments and forget.  I look at what the everyone around me thinks I should have instead of living in the truth that if I have Him I don't need anything else.
Thank You God that you are Hope; You give me Hope,  Help me remember I have hope and that You are all I need

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 19

I am ashamed to admit that yesterday I wasn't feeling particularly grateful.  I was tired from not sleeping a couple of nights ago and going through withdrawal from nicotine again because I was stupid enough to start that habit again because I was eating too much. Sigh and smack in the head.  I let the clock run out on the day without posting anything because I didn't think I could find anything to be grateful for.  " I just can't do it today" I said to myself " I just don't have it in me to search for something to be grateful for, I'm drawing a blank today"  Wow get me huh?  Yes I was tired  and yes I got some bad news yesterday that someone I know in Missouri was in the hospital but NO NO NO there is still no reason to ever think there is nothing to be grateful for.  My daughter has a sign on her refrigerator that says "There is always, always always something to be thankful for"; so yes I am ashamed of myself.
Shortly after I turned off my computer for the night I realized that it wasn't so much that I could't find something to be thankful for as much as I was worried that I couldn't be eloquent enough in my writing.  I was thinking I would have to come up with some long winded examination of my gratitude subject.  I told myself then I would not worry about that anymore and just post. As I was going to sleep last night I thought to myself I am thankful for my bed.  And I am; so grateful for it.
Thank you God for my bed.

30 Days OF Gratitude Day 18

I am grateful for my car; a generous gift from one who wants to remain anonymous.  Prior to February this year I had not had a car for at least 5 years.  I lived in the same town as my mom so she would give me and my son  rides to get groceries and go to church and loan me her car for doctor appointments et al  When we moved to Georgia we thought we could just kind of do the same with my daughter's car.   I would take her work when I needed to use the car.  This worked well as we stayed with her and her husband and we thought it wouldn't change much when we got our own place because we planned to get a place nearby. Yet when we started looking we found our that there was nothing nearby that we could afford; not even close really.  So we had to start to look more far afield and the best we could do was about an hour away.
Alas what to do; how could we share a car at such distance and to top it off, the place we found had nothing within walking distance.
But as He always does; God provided in the form of a car we can use as though it is ours but not have to worry with the payments or insurance.  What a blessing it has turned out to be in so many ways.
We didn't know when we got the car that by the time Joseph would be born and I needed to commute 3 times a week to care for him that a massive road construction project was just getting underway that would add 15-30  minutes to the commute.
God I thank You for the blessing of a car that makes our lives so much easier.  You knew what we needed before we did; as You always do.  Please bless those whom You used to accomplish this 10 fold for their generosity

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 17

The last couple of posts I have written involve first responders, people who put their lives on the line to serve us often not only without gratitude but with disdain.  Today I end my first responders posts with Emergency Services/ paramedics; some may still call them ambulance drivers.

I am grateful for paramedics, who train hard and get thrown into the job that all the training in the world cannot fully prepare them for.  They not only have the everyday things one expects they would but many other situations one might not think of .  They must deal with mental health emergencies that can be anywhere from a calming talk to dodging weapons while trying to restrain someone. They have stresses on the job that are nothing compared to an office job; their stresses involve having the lives of people in their hands.  If an office employee messes up they may get reprimanded or even fired.  But if an EMT messes up it could affect someone else's life; either permanent injury or death. And these days and times we live in even EMTs are in danger of being targeted and attacked. They must deal with horrible traffic in the cities and then get yelled at for not being there sooner when they get to their calls. Yet they show up and do their jobs with compassion and efficiency.
Thank you God for EMS workers; please bless them and protect them.