Not To Beat A Dead Horse

but reading Job has brought up some things I am still struggling to move past. A few months ago I wrote some things that were critical of a group of people. I admit it was not the wisest thing I have ever done. I did not think about how it could be taken by some. I deleted the posts soon after and then just went ahead and deleted the whole blog. What niggles at my brain is how a someone I considered my best friend reacted to it, and her actions surrounding it. I had posted a lot of good things proir to that, lots of poetry and the like and not once did she comment on any of it. No, encourgement, praise, critquie, nothing. Then all of sudden wham. I guess I am still reeling from it somewhat.
Now I am reading Job ( the only thing I can usually say it great about August,;my Daily Bible put me in Job about midway through and I feel almost like I have come home again). I get to around Chapter 4 where Job's friends begin to talk. Eliphaz says Job has sinned and that he is being chastened by God; and while I am reading Jobs response to this it hits me. This is how I felt at that time and still do. I read Job's words in, Chapter 6:14-21 that really express what I feel as well as these later on - " you undermine your friend" and, " but you are forgers of lies, you are worthless physicians. Oh that you would be silent, and it would be your wisdom" or " Miserable comforters are you"
You see what Job's friends were saying was not all wrong; most of it was dead on right theologically. But they lacked compassion for Job and judged his position with God by his circumstances. I feel this is what my friend did to me. Had she been keeping up with my blog she should have known that I was not, as she accused, depending on others to lift my burdens from me rather than looking to God. She would have realized were it not for God's strength things would have been more than I could bear and I would be either dead or in the hospital's psych ward. But instead she assumed since I was pointing out that I had been abandoned by this group of people, that I was in need of admonishment for assuming someone owed me something or that I was being ungrateful for prior help.
Sigh, I know I need to move past this, I know I need to forgive and that part of that is letting it go, in spite of the fact that one never apologized for the attack. I need Jesus to show me how far the east is from the west; and show me how to fling these feelings that far.
Like Job, God spoke to me about my attitude and showed me that I could have leaned on Him more and accepted things for what they were without lashing becasue He was and is in control; but unlkie Job, God didn't put my friend in her place for me. Is this what I expect, or want? I mean imagine how those friends of Job must have felt after God spoke to them like that, small enough to " crawl under the floor", I would think. I don't want anyone to experience that on my behalf; I am not worthy of that by a long shot. Job afterall was blameless and upright, so not me.
But I do wonder sometimes what became of Job's relationship with his friends after this. Did their friendship continue, did it change?
Sigh, oh well I guess I will lay my stick down now, poor horse has surely had enough.