Lying here on the bathroom
Floor wondering how
I would survive
If you loved me more
You say it's 'cause you love me
That you treat me this way
So for you to stop loving me
Every day I pray
I've pleaded so and
I've begged on my knees
For the beatings to end
But useless are my pleas
In my dreams a knight comes
To rescue me from disgrace
But when I awake
All I see is your face
I know only one way of escape
One way to leave this pit
Will it be by your hand
Or will I be the one to do it?
I know sooner or later
You'll go too far
Or my body will just get tired
From accumulating scars
My mind has reached a threshold
Of terror and of pain
Waiting and wondering
Is today that final day?
I have thought of leaving you
I do love you this is true
And I really meant the vows I made
Before I said " I do"
But I haven't stayed for love
I'm really just scared is all
That what you say is true
And without you I'm nothing at all
Time to get up now
Need to wash my face
Change my clothes, fix my hair
And clean up this filthy place
Must not leave the house a mess
All must be just so
So when you find my body
My love for you will show.
CAC May 10-28
This post is not necessarily personal, it is more of an empathetic look at the life of an abused spouse.
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