Explanations and Apologies

I took down my other blog in anger and frustration over a misunderstanding that I precipitated by posting criticisms of the Church on a public forum.
The perception is that I did this instead of trying to talk to someone about things first. I understand how this perception has validity to someone who is mostly sane and not chronically depressed.
From a "normal" perspective, it is no big deal to not have a phone call returned for a month and one would not automatically assume the worst in such a case. I, however, am none of the above. I would have to give my whole life story in order for you to really have clue where I am coming from. Suffice to say I do have chronic deep depression.
I became depressed early in childhood and was untreated until my mid 20's and not properly medicated until my thirties. My brain chemistry, unlike some people who have a bout with depression and get better, was irreversibly changed because of this and I will probably never, unless God chooses to deliver me completely from it, be free of it. I am a whole lot less depressed than I was years ago. However, I see through what my daughter calls the "twisted lens of depression". On top of that I am unable to work due to this severely impaired mental state combined with fibromyalgia (and most recently additionally restricted to home by severe neck,and back pain that the MD are still working on the cause of). It might not seem like a month with no phone call is not that long to people who have full lives, working and going to events, etc. But to someone basically house bound, it is a very long time. Most people would not assume under those circumstances that no none loved or cared for them, but would logically realize that past service and attention was proof someone cared, that people just get busy and think no more of it. But through that twisted lens, one feels abandoned, ignored, and without recourse.
I am deeply sorry for any and all hurt my posts about the Church caused.
I cannot tell you how many hours of prayer and tears have been spent over this horrible misunderstanding, and how much I deeply regret what I said, how I said it and where I chose to say it.
For these reasons I am using the same forum to issue this apology as well as personal apologies to individuals I know of that I hurt. If I miss you please let me know, I truly want to make amends.