30 Days Of Gratitude Day 30

Well here we are on day 30. It has gone by so fast! I am grateful that I took the time to do this project. It has been a challenge which I have not been 100% successful at and yet I have managed to do all 30 posts.
Doing this has made me determined to take more time to count my blessings. I am going to commit to doing a gratitude post once a week; whether I post anything else or not I will do this at least.
I have heard of studies that show the multitude of benefits to doing some sort of gratitude journal and know that my personal experience has born out what I have heard. I have been less depressed, more quick to see the positive in things and even more patient while I have been doing this.
Thank You God for the discipline of doing this gratitude project. May I continue to count my blessings and give You the glory.

29 Days Of Gratitude Day 29

Today I am grateful for hymns. I love the richness of the old hymns; much of the time taken right from Scripture. Don't misunderstand I am not against modern praise and worship music at all. I love all music and believe it is a gift of God. But I hate to see us lose so much history; there has already been too much of that in the past. I don't appreciate our hymns being left out of worship services just because they are old. To some they may be old but to me they are timeless. Check this out Amazing Grace was written by John Newton in 1779, How Great Thou Art by Carl Gustav Boberg written in 1885, Holy, Holy, Holy by Reginald Heiber written in 1826, and Peace Like A Rive by Horacio Spafford, written in 1873. I could go on but I think I've got my point across. If you have never heard these hymns you can find them on YouTube and I suggest you do so.
Thank You God for the hymns that speak so well of Your faithfulness to us and give us such rich history.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 28

I am grateful for television and movies. I know there is a lot of junk out there but that's true of everything in life really. One has to take the bad with the good and, hopefully, use wisdom to know the difference and not let the bad overtake the good. I have learned so much watching television and movies and used them to teach my children a lot as well. I used the bad to teach them what not to do; but mostly I used it to teach them about how to, and not to relate to other people and that every story has something we can learn from it. My daughter jokes that I ruined movies for her because she always has to think, "what is the lesson here". We can rail and rant and rave about how awful entertainment has gotten or we can choose to use our remotes to change the channel or turn it off and we can use our brains to help us use what we do watch to improve our lives and the lives our children and grandchildren and other children whose lives we influence.
Thank you God for television and movies; for the countless hours of entertainment they have given me as well being tools I can use to learn and teach others.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 27

I am grateful for prayer. There is nothing more amazing than the ability to commune with the Creator of everything by just talking to Him. No mumbo jumbo chanting required, no great ceremony to call Him up; He is just there, always there. The only requirement to have this communion with God is to believe He is real and accept His sacrifice through the blood of His Son Jesus. Now don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that not everyone can pray. Anyone can pray to God and He will hear you. But to have this conversation, this communion, with Him one must have accepted His Gift. I am ashamed to admit I have gone years without taking advantage of this wonderful blessing of communion with my God. I recently got back on track and though I may not spend as much time as I should with Him I do make sure and pray daily and read some of the Bible every day now. Over the last 3 weeks my son and I have prayed together every day except the days I was gone to Missouri( he stayed home) and it has been such a blessing; it has improved our relationship significantly. If you are reading this and want to know more about prayer please contact me; I would love to talk to you about it.
Thank You God for the blessing of prayer. May I never again stray from daily communion with You.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 26

I am really behind here! Whew; the last few days have just flown by. I kept meaning to sit down and write but just didn't get to it. I thought about it so much I thought I actually did it because I was surprised to see how far behind I got. Deep sigh
I am grateful for my Aunt Mary; she is actually my Great Aunt. She is 85 years old and is still aware and active. She has slowed down some due to high blood pressure damaging her heart; an inherited problem that has fell many of her family early in life. She used to be a nurse practitioner and worked for many many years in a clinic in Denver, Colorado. She also did a lot of crafts, she did ceramics and made candles and crocheted and even learned to do oil painting. She was always doing something and she is also a dog lover. I really liked to visit her because she always had at least 2 dogs and always had something for me to do. I am very proud of her for her years of service as a nurse. She was a big help to me when I lived in Denver and was going to Medical Assistant school. She even let me borrow money and loaned me furniture when my roommate decided to get married and moved out on me halfway through school and left me with the full rent and no way to pay for our rented furniture.
Aunt Mary has been a part of my life ever since my dad remarried when I was 15. Even though we are not really family; my dad divorced the woman when I was about 23, she has never treated me as anything but family. I know we won't have her around for too many more years and I am happy that I was able to see her on my trip to Missouri as she has moved there just recently.
Thank You God for Aunt Mary; I am so glad she is doing well. Please bless her and keep her.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 25

I am thankful for chocolate. I hope that's not too lame because it is true. I love chocolate; I can't conceive of not liking chocolate. When I meet someone who doesn't like chocolate it's like said they don't like to breathe. I'm just like "oh, um okay". Today we discovered; thanks to my daughter'sharp eye, that our previous home town has a chocolate shop. It has been there over a year, so it was there before I moved away but I had no idea. THere has been a huge effort over the last few years to revitalize the downtown are and there have been a lot of new businesses open as a result. The Chocolate Works is one of them. I insisted we go in and, of my goodness. I think Heaven must be somewhat like it. The smell was enough to make one gain 2 pounds. I wanted one of everything!
According to one website I looked at on the history of chocolate says cocoa beans used to be used as currency. Also it says that originally the only way it was consumed was as a drink. When chocolate first make ti to Spain it was only used a medicine, sounds righ to me.
In the 1850s, Englishman Joseph Fry changed life by adding more cocoa butter, rather than hot water, to cocoa powder and sugar. The world’s first solid chocolate was born.
In 1875, Daniel Peter and Henri Nestle added condensed milk to solid chocolate, creating a milk chocolate bar.
In 1879, Swiss chap Rudolphe Lindt invented the conch, a machine that rotated and mixed chocolate to a perfectly smooth consistency.
You can read more here
Thank You God for chocloate and for giving these men the inspiration to make what has become what we consume today.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 24

I Thesselonians Chapter 5 says in part

Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus

God has been, finally, getting this through my head this year. I am so thankful for His Word and the blessings He has given me through obedience to it. Of course today I am thankful for time with my family. I, of course, miss those who are not here for one reason or another; but so grateful to have this time with my mom, brothers and daughter and her little family. I remember too many times we have been apart and feel so blessed to be able to take this little vacation "home". My kids grew up here from the time they were preteens so Missouri is more home to them than anything else. While we have made new home in Georgia Missouri will always hold a special place in our hearts.
thank You God for this time with family; please bless those we cannot be with and thank You too for Your Word and the lessons You are teaching me.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 23

I am thankful for safe travels; I missed blogging yesterday as we (my daughter, so in law and grandson) were traveling to Missouri for a visit with my mom and brothers for Thanksgiving. We had a smooth trip with no close calls and very little heavy traffic. We encountered rain starting in Tennessee but even with that we were fine and we definitely can't complain about that with all the drought and wild fires. It was my grandson's first road trip and he did fantastic. I would love to post a video we took of him playing with the steering wheel on a break but mu daughter, wisely, doesn't allow pictures etc of him on the internet. You will just have to trust me that he was uber cute.
Thank you God for save travels and for the much needed rain.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 22

I am grateful today for many things; it's going to be hard to pick just one.
I think, since I did mercy yesterday today I will do grace. The definition of grace is approval or privilege. The Biblical definition is a: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b : a virtue coming from God .c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace. A favorite acronym of God's Riches At Christ's Expense.
Now I have also experienced grace in my life. My children are grace to me; I have the amazing privilege to be their mom. I pray I never forget that. I have also felt approval as a mom. Not only do my children help me feel approval but others do when they mention something positive about my children that I know I had influence on, such as manners. I felt approval from my brother Joe when we reconciled a little while before his death. When I visited him and he enfolded me in his arms; I felt grace.
Yet those graces, while wonderful don't compare the the grace of God. My heart was black and cold with bitterness, anger and pain. I abhorred anything to do with God, Jesus, or the Bible. I refused to believe God was real. I wanted nothing to do with anyone who espoused belief in God and would argue with anyone who tried to tell me what the Bible said. I had read the Bible many times as a teenager; it was all I was allowed to read. I thought I understood perfectly what it said. Yet is was this same bitterness, anger and pain that eventually left me so alone and empty that I couldn't stand it anymore. I cried out to God to show me if He was real. I will post more about what happened at a later date, but He did show me and He gave me His Grace. Instead of giving me the punishment I deserved for not recognising Him and serving Him; for hating Him instead of adoring Him all those years, he gave me forgiveness and washed my black heart white as snow. And He does it anew every day; every hour every minute. WOW!
Thank You God for Your grace; I can never say thank You enough.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 21

I am thankful today for mercy.the definition of mercy is compassionate treatment.
I have been shown a lot of mercy in my life. I have. I think anyone in a relationship with another person whether it's parent/child, sibling, or spousal et al, gets shown a lot of mercy and hopefully also shows a lot of mercy. My children have so incredibly merciful in recalling their childhood. I know I was not nearly as good a mom as they say i am. Yet this is not the mercy I am most grateful for. The mercy I am most grateful for is the mercy of God. While we tend to show mercy as it is shown to us it is not so with God for not only can we not show God mercy; He does not need mercy. His mercy is true and pure. Without His mercy I would not be able to know Him; Thank You God for Mercy.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 20

I guess in retrospect I should have saved my post about being thankful for my son for today because today is his birthday. You might want to check out his blog here.
I told the pastor and he called him out in front of the whole church.My daughter would not have been happy had I done that to her but Jonathan just rolled with it; he's cool like that.
I digress though.  I am grateful for him but since I already wrote about him I guess I can't use him as my post.
I am thankful for HOPE; something I don't always feel and  actually spent most of my life without.  I lose my way a lot and forget that I have hope; but I do.  I have hope because I know Jesus and He is Hope. I know what it is to be hopeless, not just to feel hopeless ( I put myself there sometimes too) but I'm talking about without hope. To have nothing to look forward to but pain and nothing to live for. I have stood in front of a mirror with a knife at my heart begging for the courage to end my life. Sat with a packet of razor blades in my hands trying through the tears to see how to open the locked plastic package,  I have found myself wishing I owned a gun so I could stick in mouth and pull the trigger, I am guilty of making a plan for when I finally work of the courage. Oh yes I know what it is to have no hope .  Yes I know hopelessness all too well.  But praise be to God Almighty I finally found Hope in Him.  Does that mean every day from then on has been rosey?  If you've read any of my blog before, or spent much time with me; you know the answer is no.  It's not all hearts and sunshine; God does not promise us an easy life but most of my troubles I bring on myself by forgetting I have Hope.  I take my eyes off of Him and put them on my situation, on my hurts, on my disappointments and forget.  I look at what the everyone around me thinks I should have instead of living in the truth that if I have Him I don't need anything else.
Thank You God that you are Hope; You give me Hope,  Help me remember I have hope and that You are all I need

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 19

I am ashamed to admit that yesterday I wasn't feeling particularly grateful.  I was tired from not sleeping a couple of nights ago and going through withdrawal from nicotine again because I was stupid enough to start that habit again because I was eating too much. Sigh and smack in the head.  I let the clock run out on the day without posting anything because I didn't think I could find anything to be grateful for.  " I just can't do it today" I said to myself " I just don't have it in me to search for something to be grateful for, I'm drawing a blank today"  Wow get me huh?  Yes I was tired  and yes I got some bad news yesterday that someone I know in Missouri was in the hospital but NO NO NO there is still no reason to ever think there is nothing to be grateful for.  My daughter has a sign on her refrigerator that says "There is always, always always something to be thankful for"; so yes I am ashamed of myself.
Shortly after I turned off my computer for the night I realized that it wasn't so much that I could't find something to be thankful for as much as I was worried that I couldn't be eloquent enough in my writing.  I was thinking I would have to come up with some long winded examination of my gratitude subject.  I told myself then I would not worry about that anymore and just post. As I was going to sleep last night I thought to myself I am thankful for my bed.  And I am; so grateful for it.
Thank you God for my bed.

30 Days OF Gratitude Day 18

I am grateful for my car; a generous gift from one who wants to remain anonymous.  Prior to February this year I had not had a car for at least 5 years.  I lived in the same town as my mom so she would give me and my son  rides to get groceries and go to church and loan me her car for doctor appointments et al  When we moved to Georgia we thought we could just kind of do the same with my daughter's car.   I would take her work when I needed to use the car.  This worked well as we stayed with her and her husband and we thought it wouldn't change much when we got our own place because we planned to get a place nearby. Yet when we started looking we found our that there was nothing nearby that we could afford; not even close really.  So we had to start to look more far afield and the best we could do was about an hour away.
Alas what to do; how could we share a car at such distance and to top it off, the place we found had nothing within walking distance.
But as He always does; God provided in the form of a car we can use as though it is ours but not have to worry with the payments or insurance.  What a blessing it has turned out to be in so many ways.
We didn't know when we got the car that by the time Joseph would be born and I needed to commute 3 times a week to care for him that a massive road construction project was just getting underway that would add 15-30  minutes to the commute.
God I thank You for the blessing of a car that makes our lives so much easier.  You knew what we needed before we did; as You always do.  Please bless those whom You used to accomplish this 10 fold for their generosity

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 17

The last couple of posts I have written involve first responders, people who put their lives on the line to serve us often not only without gratitude but with disdain.  Today I end my first responders posts with Emergency Services/ paramedics; some may still call them ambulance drivers.

I am grateful for paramedics, who train hard and get thrown into the job that all the training in the world cannot fully prepare them for.  They not only have the everyday things one expects they would but many other situations one might not think of .  They must deal with mental health emergencies that can be anywhere from a calming talk to dodging weapons while trying to restrain someone. They have stresses on the job that are nothing compared to an office job; their stresses involve having the lives of people in their hands.  If an office employee messes up they may get reprimanded or even fired.  But if an EMT messes up it could affect someone else's life; either permanent injury or death. And these days and times we live in even EMTs are in danger of being targeted and attacked. They must deal with horrible traffic in the cities and then get yelled at for not being there sooner when they get to their calls. Yet they show up and do their jobs with compassion and efficiency.
Thank you God for EMS workers; please bless them and protect them.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 16

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I am grateful for police officers; another group of people who put their lives on the line just showing up for work.  There have been a lot of bad things said about police officers over the last few years and I think it's awful and tremendously sad that because of a few bad examples the whole lot of them have been cast in such a negative and hateful light.  Most police officers are good, honest people who only want to serve and protect us.  We must not give in to the negativity surrounding us regarding them.
It makes so sad that our police officers are under such attack right now. I know some of it is terrorism but there is also just a hatred running so deep in people for the police; it is scary either way.
I also think a lot of the negative feeling we have about police officers are misplaced.  They are only as good as their training and the policies and procedures they are mandated.  Until these things are changed as well as budgets reworked to allow training and  hiring of more officers I believe things will only get worse for our police officers,  But these are not the fault of the officers out there dedicated to our safety; so please be kind to them.
Thank you God for every police officer that has signed on in order to protect and serve us.  Please help those who are not in it for these reasons be identified and weeded out, Please heal the hatred that looms large in our nation right now and causes such danger for these brave men and women; please keep them safe and comfort their families and give them peace of mind.  Also God, please give comfort to the families of those officers who have lost their lives in the line of duty.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 15

I am grateful for firefighters.  These men and women are amazingly courageous.  They put their lives on the line every day they show up for work.  They have been on my mind  and in my prayers a lot lately with all the wildfires around the country.  I am ashamed to admit I didn't think of them or pray for them much until I began to see the smoke from wildfires burning in the North Georgia mountains. These fires are so bad that we have had heavy smoke down in the metro and surrounding area for over a week now.  Georgia, like so much of the country is in a drought and to top it off there have been high winds several days as well.  I can't imagine what it is like for the firefighters up there.
Thank you God for the men and women who are putting there lives on the line for our safety and preservation of our forests and homes.  Please protect them and give peace and comfort to their families waiting at home for them.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 14

I am grateful for Jigidi; the online puzzle site my daughter introduced me to several years ago.  I had a love hate relationship with it for a long time, mostly hate.  I have never been good at puzzles but since I'm not getting any younger I figured I should give it a try.  I ended up enjoying it some over time but still found them pretty difficult.  Then my son moved in with me when she moved out and I had very little time with the computer so I didn't visit the site again for several years.   Then, as I mentioned in my last post I fell and I remembered Jigidi and got back on found myself trying again. Lo and behold, I found that I was enjoying it, a lot.  I went from small puzzles to medium puzzles rather quickly and then from medium to large and some even larger.  It is amazing  to me now that I ever struggled with the medium ones.
I really like the confidence it gives me and the sense of accomplishment I feel when I get done with one.  I don't think I will ever not make the time to do them now; even though my leg is finally feeling better.  You can find it here; enjoy.  You can also upload your own images and make puzzles of them as I did with the picture above.  My user name is Hzgrc4me if you want to look for the few I have put on there.
Thank you God for my puzzle site Jigidi.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 13

I am grateful for the computer I am writing this on, a blessed gift.   I didn't know how much I would use  a laptop at first and I didn't for a few months.  Things change though and  I fell and tore my meniscus and bruised my patella  and had to stay off my feet and elevated as much as possible.  I realized then that I could sit down with the laptop and work on puzzles and keep myself distracted enough to keep from getting up every 5 or 10 minutes like I usually do. Since then I have found it very useful and I appreciate it greatly.
Thank you God for the blessing of this laptop.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 12

I am thankful for my home.
It's not much; an old trailer we rent with weak spots in the floor and ugly paint on the walls.  The people hired to paint and do repairs probably work for the same people the Coyote from Roadrunner got his things from. But it is home, a roof over our heads and walls around us. It keeps us dry and warm in the cooler temperatures,  It is much more than many people have.
There is a homeless Veteran that stands beside an on ramp  close to where I pick up grandson from his other grandma.  He holds a container and a sign. He wears and old army coat and every time I see him I feel ashamed of all the times I complain about our home; how this and that are messed up and need to be fixed etc.
Thank you God for our home; help me to remain grateful and please prompt people who can help, to help those who need homes.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 11

I am thankful for our soldiers, current and past that sacrifice so very much for our safety and security as a nation.  Whether one agrees with wars or whatnot we need be grateful for our soldiers.  They are sorely underpaid, give up time with their families, live in substandard homes at best and sleep in holes in the ground at worst.  Moreover, when they sign up for service they accept the sobering fact that they may have to ultimately give their lives.
Thank you God for our Veterans and those actively serving in our military.  Comfort and bless them this day and every day for their sacrifices for us.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 10

I am grateful for my nieces One of who has a birthday today  I don't keep in touch well with people at all but I still love them and pray for them and am very proud of them.
Thank you God for my nieces; may they be blessed and guided by you.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 9

I am thankful for my friends; though they be few they are good to me and I feel blessed to have known them.  I don't make friends easily and keep them even less easy.   I am told I have high standards that I expect a lot of people; but no more than I expect of myself.  I believe that is true.  I have a hard time with people who lie, or tell me they will do something and don't do it. I really try to avoid gossipping so a lot people won't talk to me at all once they figure that out. Therefore I am grateful for the few friends who have stuck it out with me and remained my friend in spite of my standards and my craziness.
Thank you God for my friends; please bless them for their love and kindness to me.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 8

I am thankful for the privilege of having been born in the United States.  Yes, or freedom's have caused some problems but I wouldn't trade all of them for the not having freedom.  We have the amazing freedom to debate, complain and disagree with our country's leadership without fear of reprisal from the government.  We are free to practice whatever religion we choose without interference of punishment from the government.  Though we as Christians may feel persecuted by those who choose other religions; we are still free to worship our God.  This will not only be the case and we need to stop our fear mongering, finger pointing and judgement of those who don't know our God and instead start serving and loving those who don't know our God.  The principals and commands we are to live by are given for us; not those who don't believe and we need to stop acting as if that is so.  If we really want this county to "turn back to God" as many Facebook posts suggests, we mush first and foremost check our own relationship with God.  Are we being obedient to His commands?  Are we truly loving one another?https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4%3A+1-6&version=NIV
Thank you God for the privilege of having been for in the U.S.  Help me to share serve and love those who don't know You and love my brother's and sisters in Christ.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 7

I am grateful for my dogs.  They are such wonderful companions to me.  I have had to live without dogs a few times in my adult life and didn't like it at all.  They don't judge me, they don't talk back (much), they are always happy to see me no matter how long I've been gone; whether it be 10 minutes or 10 hours, they are always thrilled I am home. I love all animals and have had several cats over the years but I am a dog person.  I love being licked and I love that they need me and depend on me.
Thank you God for Maria and Dharma; and all the others that have gone over the "rainbow bridge",

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 6

Behind again; sigh.  I really don't know how that happened. Onward and upward

I am grateful for my ( unofficially) adopted mom.  She came into my life when I was 15 and saved my life.  I truly believe that if she had not been a part of my life I would not have lived to be an adult. What did she do?  She loved me, unconditionally, completely and sacrificially; she loved me.  She shined a light into my extremely dark life and though she thinks she didn't do enough to help me; that light, little as it was gave me enough hope to make it through the darkness.  It took many many more years for me to emerge from the pit but I made it. I am closer to her than any of my "blood" family and I miss her terribly since I moved to another state from her.
Thank you God for Della, for the light she shined in my life that kept me from giving up on life.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 5

I am grateful for my brothers. Joe and Mike.  Joe went to Heaven almost 2 years ago.  For many many years we were estranged.  I never had anything to do with any of my brothers but the oldest one, Mike because of horrible things that happened when we were kids that my memory hadn't sorted out well.  But I knew for sure was that Mike was not involved.  About 14 years ago another brother died without my ever having talked to him about it all; giving him a chance to admit it or anything. That put me in tail spin that along with medication changes put me in the hospital psych ward.

I didn't want that to happen again when Joe was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and given only weeks to live.  So I went to see him and as soon as I saw him I knew he didn't hurt me.  We had a wonderful visit; a time I will treasure in my heart for the rest of my life.  He was gone less than a month later.  

I got to spend more time with Mike than I had in  while as well and we all had some much needed time of recalling and letting go of the past.  Out mother had committed suicide when we were young and there were other things.  We commiserated, cried and hugged.  

I am grateful God for my brothers.  What we went through together was painful but we survived; Joe had a saying - Conway Strong and we are and will always be.  I'll see you again Joe.  I love you guys.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 4

I am grateful for my 5 month old grandson, Joseph.  I never understood how it felt to have a grand child; though many have tried to tell me over the years.  I never got it and understand now why I didn't because it defies explanation.  I can't say I love him more than own children but it's a different kind of love.  Almost like the love I have for my children exploded and became this little person. Agghh!  There I go trying to explain it!
I am grateful for him though; for every aching muscle and bone from watching him 2 1/2 days a week.  Im grateful for every smile, for every laugh, for every scream and every tear.  I am grateful for every mile I have walked with him screaming in my ear and every head butt and pinch and every hair he's pulled out of my head.
I am so blessed to have been able to move close enough to spend so much time with him and treasure every moment.
Thank you God for my dear sweet grandson and for letting me live close to him.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day 3

I am thankful for my son in law.  4 years ago I would not have said the same. My daughter was married to an awful person ,
Now she is married to someone who loves her and loves God. I could go on and on about how I know he loves her but that is not my place.  I have made the mistake of sharing too much of her personal life in the past.  I am just so happy they found one another and am proud to have him in the family. Thank you God for a wonderful son in law who loves You and loves my daugher.

30 Days Of Gratitude Day Two

I am thankful for my daughter.  She was my surprise who tested the limits of my sanity and patience for the first 4 years of her life.  She started doing everything early and once she started talking at 4 months she never stopped.  I was not in a frame of mind to appreciate her and she had a rough go of things having a brother with Severe Emotional Disturbance.  But she has become a treasure without price. She is scary smart, loyal, dedicated and the most loving person I have ever known.  She loves God with her whole heart and loves her family the same way.  She has done more for me and her brother than I could ever numerate.  Those 4 years of challenges with her were well worth the price of what she has become. Thank you God for my intelligent, beautiful and loving daughter.

30 Days Of Gratiftude

Sigh; I am already behind.  I will do three days today and hopefully get the rest of the month done on time.

Day One
I am thankful for my son.  He will be 33 this month and we've had a rocky road.  I've had a lot of people ask me over the years if I ever wished he had been "normal".  The answer has always been; and always will be, no. I have seen a lot of "normal"boys and this is what I saw.  They wore their pants out before they outgrew them, they got extremely dirty all the time.  They climbed trees and got on top of buildings and threw rocks and more.  My son never wore out anything but shoes and that wasn't until he was in his teens.   They shunned hugs from their moms and dads. My son never got dirty; or scared me with death defying defeats of gravity. My son loved giving hugs and never shied from telling me he loves me.  Thank you God; for my son.  We have our squabbles and strains but I wouldn't trade him for 10 "normal" boys.

Can't Make Tracks

I want to run run run away with just the clothes on my back; I want to walk walk walk away and never look back, but I can't make tracks.
I want to scream scream scream that I'm not an idiot; but you won't hear me anyway because you only hear me talk.
If I had a wheelchair I would roll roll roll away; roll into the ocean and at the bottom stay; but I don't have a wheelchair and I can't make tracks.
I want to stand stand stand and do what I need to do but I can't stand and I can't make tracks.
I want to cry cry cry that you don't understand but you just call me crazy so I cry into my pillow once again.
I want to run, I want to walk, I want to stand, I want to cry cry cry but no one understands. My body turned against me and my mind has seen too much. I can only write, and pray and hope that one day I can run run run and make track after track after track.

New Year New Challenges And Blessings

Wow; what a long time it's been since I posted.  I have no new excuses.

I do; however, have wonderful news.  I am about to be a grandma for the first time!  My sweet daughter and her new and much improved husband are having a little boy in May.  His name will be Joseph  I really should have written about this much sooner.  Lack of enthusiasm has no bearing on not writing about it though.  I am beyond thrilled.

In light of the impending birth of said grandson I decided to leave my hometown of the last 18 1/2 years and move to where my daughter and son in law live.  I uprooted myself and my son and with  my daughter's help ( a lot of help) we packed up and moved. We are currently staying with my daughter and son in law and looking for a place to rent.  Adding two people, two dogs and a cat to a two bedroom condo is interesting to say the least.  I am overwhelmed at the generosity and kindness of my daughter and son in law.  

Thanks kids!  I love you.