Prayer; Jude

Dear God,
Today is a very sad day.You know that some members of my church lost their precious baby boy today. Little Jude is with You now; after a 10 day battle to survive being born over 3 months early. Lord it is SO hard to understand things like this. So many of us were praying so hard and there were so many times he seemed to improve and then something else would come up. It has been a tumultuous 10 days for him and his family and our whole Church Body. Why Lord? Why not just take him right away? Why did he have to fight so hard? Why did You allow his parents think there was a chance he would make it and then this? I know You work all things for good for us who love You and are called according to Your purpose. I know pain is a part of life; You know I know that better a lot of people. But I don't see with my human heart and eyes; I don't see how the suffering of a little baby is necessary.
Oh Lord, my heart is breaking for this family, I can't stop crying and I know they can't either. I know Jude was more loved in those 10 days than some children ever know. Help them God, heal the unimaginable hurt in their hearts that You Yourself know better than any of us.
Help us Lord, who love this family as fellow Believers, and are grieving this loss too. Help us trust Your plan for these lives and help us support them and help them through this deep valley.
I thank You God that You allow me to ask why, thank You that you patiently wait out my tirades of pain and hurt. I thank You that You draw me close and let me cry on Your chest while You whisper in my heart; "Hush my child; were you there when I laid the foundations of the earth, don't you know by now you can trust me?
Thank you Lord, I just needed a cry and a reminder. Thank Lord, in Jesus precious name I pray. Amen

Reading

I have been reading this; there is just such a beauty to it I cannot begin to pick a few verses; but today verses 89-96 were especially meaningful to me.
Thank You God for Your Word.

You'll Never Know How Much I Love You

Lying here on the bathroom
Floor wondering how
I would survive
If you loved me more

You say it's 'cause you love me
That you treat me this way
So for you to stop loving me
Every day I pray

I've pleaded so and
I've begged on my knees
For the beatings to end
But useless are my pleas

In my dreams a knight comes
To rescue me from disgrace
But when I awake
All I see is your face

I know only one way of escape
One way to leave this pit
Will it be by your hand
Or will I be the one to do it?

I know sooner or later
You'll go too far
Or my body will just get tired
From accumulating scars

My mind has reached a threshold
Of terror and of pain
Waiting and wondering
Is today that final day?

I have thought of leaving you
I do love you this is true
And I really meant the vows I made
Before I said " I do"

But I haven't stayed for love
I'm really just scared is all
That what you say is true
And without you I'm nothing at all

Time to get up now
Need to wash my face
Change my clothes, fix my hair
And clean up this filthy place

Must not leave the house a mess
All must be just so
So when you find my body
My love for you will show.

CAC May 10-28

This post is not necessarily personal, it is more of an empathetic look at the life of an abused spouse.

GI Diet update

Well it has been just over a week since I went to the MD and he told me I am severely hypoglycemic and put me on the GI Diet. Here is a video; try not to judge me too harshly; I am not photogenic!
My energy level has increased about 40 percent and my pain level has decreased about 50 percent!

Look Ma Both Hands!

Hallelujah! I can use both my hands to type now. It hurts a little but I can do it!! Praise the LORD!

I have been talking to someone through email who goes to my church whom I have never met but know through other people that she is into natural foods, herbs and the like so I contacted her when my MD put me on this new eating plan. She has been a wonderful source of information and I look forward to comparing notes with my MD about some of the things she has said. I am so grateful for her help; even though she has never laid eyes on me, she is doing research on my behalf, preparing remedies and answering endless questions. I just want to go on record as saying I really appreciate this person I will call Honey. Thank You God for Honey and all You are doing for me through her.

Mother's Day Revisted It's a Flip!

Due to new feature on AdSense I believe I can now name wonderful present my children got me. Here it is, It is called a Flip and it is SO COOL! If you ever want to video this is a terrific alternative to the big type which you would only need if you want to record over an hour before downloading. Check it out here. I am having so much fun with this thing!

If You Are Squeamish Don't Look!

I got my bandage off today. This is a video of my hand so if you can't handle yucky stuff don't play the video; I am starting it with a view of a card I got from my Church family so you don't have the ugliness in front of you.





I am doing well; there is not much pain as long as I don't try to use my fingers. I am
having less pain in the right side of my neck as well. I am having a lot of muscle twitching in my upper arm; not sure what that is about.

I have been showered with blessings from my Lord and thank those who have been vessels for many of those blessings.