" McNugget" Madness and other lessons from Beth Moore

One never knows what one will hear when she attends a Beth Moore event. Today was a Living Proof Simulcast with Beth Moore and I was blessed to be able to attend due to a friends kindness. Kindness it turns out was the theme for today's event. In discussing how we can lose our selves in life's disappointments and frustrations Beth referred to this . I must admit I had never heard about it before so was anxious to see it when I got home. The story is that a woman came through a McDonald's drive thru early in the morning recently and ordered Chicken McNuggets. Of course she was told they are not available until lunch hours start. She was not satisfied and tried several times to get someone to cook her some anyway. When she didn't get her way she became violent. Hearing about it I knew that my behavior of late really wouldn't be much better than that woman's if any. I have had some major hissy fits at my son that send my Dorkie running for cover and cause my German Shepard to hang her head and emlpoy her "what do I do?" face. What did I have these fits about? Nothing more justified than wanting McNuggets at 6am. Oh sure I can try to justify it, just as I am sure this woman did her behavior. After all couldn't they have just cooked some up for her? But I the fact is that she was making it all about her not caring about the rules, not caring about the fact that the woman trying to serve her didn't make the rules; ;only caring that she wasn't getting what she wanted. I have been living my life for me, caring only about me. Living as though miy pain is the pain that should matter, as though my needs are the ones that should be met. Acting as though my loneliness is the only loneliness that hurts this deep. Truth is I need more kindness shown to me in my life, but also the truth the only One Whom I can depend on to show me kindness is My Savior and He has already shown me more kindness than I can wrap my head around by coming as a man and dying on the cross and defeating death and sin so I can be with Him forever.
I will try to write more about the simulcast. It was a wonderful day. I wish I had seen more people there whom I know needed refreshment from God's Word.

Still Here For Now

I am, and have been for some months, profoundly depressed. I don't think I have ever really bounced back from the depression medication changes last year. I had to stop one I was on because it was damaging my liver. But I think I need the component that is in what I was on that damaged my liver is what I need to function better.
The last few months have been worse than ever and I really don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
I don't even have the gumption to reply to emails from my daughter for pity sake! I can't tell you how long it has been since I talked to her on the phone.
I have gained back half of the weight I lost because I don't have any desire to cook and I crave all the stuff I don't need to eat and give in because why shouldn't I? It's not like there's any point in not giving in
Oh ya, my poor son, I treat him like crap most of the time. I am so irritable I yell at him and call him names almost every time he tries to talk to me.
I try to pray but just can't. I want to cry but most of the time can't do that either. I just sit in my chair or lie in bed and the days just melt together into a blur.

New Design, Hope You Like It

Figured I couldn't get away with doing a new design and not posting. That would not have been a cool thing to do; though I did consider it. I think of a lot of things to write when I am not sitting in front of this thing but no sooner than I sit down at the computer my mind just goes to mush. Not that it needs to go far to get there ^.^
I am finally going to get some help with my housework. I signed up for a home health care worker the day I got out the hospital and it just got through the approval process this week. My worker is supposed to start today and should have been here half an hour ago but the office called 10 minutes after she was supposed to be here to say she was running late. I better like her a lot! I don't like people being late.

Happy Birthday To Me (yes I am still alive)

It actually was for once a very happy birthday. For the first time since I don't know when I didn't have a total meltdown about my birthday. At a time in my life when I feel like I am a total waste of space, I had the best birthday I can remember. The only thing that could have been better would have been to get a in person hug from my Sweetpea. But she did call and she and her brother went together on a present and got me season three of Frasier one of my favorite TV shows.
I am sorry for the absence. I have been very sick and coming back from it has been hard. I wound up in the hospital with pneumonia the week before Memorial Day and was in there a week. I still had very involved pneumonia when they released me and still have inflammation in my lungs now. Plus I developed a serious infection in my stomach called C- Dif caused by the large doses of strong antibiotics I was on for the pneumonia. As if I weren't weak enough from the pneumonia, I had diarrhea for almost a month!
I am still quite weak, so I am not getting anything done and it becomes a viscous cycle that easily leads to inertia if one is not careful and I really have not been careful. So pray for me; I have so much to tell but not the energy to put words to page.

My dear sweet daughter has informed me that I let her readers down by not posting a picture. I apologise and will try to remedy that now.

Last week I dog sat for a friend;



Perhaps herd sat would be more appropriate. The black blob at the back that looks like nothing is actually a curled up and laid upon dachshund puppy. I have two, a German Shepard mix not pictured and a Dorkie, and she has three, the bed they are all sacked out on is the German Shepard's bed! You can find more pics of mine in past posts but I will also publish more of them later on.
Sorry for the long absence; again. Thanks for the nudge Sweetpea!

Happy Easter Continued

As Paul Harvey would say; now for the rest of the story. In Mark 16 we read 1When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. 2Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb 3and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

4But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. 5As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

6"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "

8Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid. and in Luke 24 we read 50When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. 51While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. 52Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. 53And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.

Without this, Jesus' death makes no difference. Had Jesus not risen from the dead, the job was only half done. The power of sin to leave us separated from God forever, would not have been broken. But, praise God, Jesus did rise from the dead and went back to Heaven and sat down at the right hand of God. Unlike the high priests before Him, Jesus' job was finished; no other sacrifice would ever be needed. The penalty was paid by the blood of God's own Son.
Hallelujah! Jesus Lives!

Happy Easter

Today is the day we commemorate death of, not a man, not a great teacher, nor a prophet but of the Son of God; . Why would the Son of God let Himself be murdered? There are many answers to that question but the only one that is true is this...to be the final sacrifice for sin; to bridge the gap between a Holy God and sinful man.
But today is not the end of Easter, it is only the beginning....
Stay tuned