Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 10

Today I am grateful for this day. I am grateful for what this day means as a Native of the United States of America. I am grateful that a brave group of people chose to leave the tyranny of a country that told them the way they chose to worship God was wrong and refusal to go along would mean prison or worse. Though not everyone that came over with them shared their beliefs and some of them lost their way afterwards, that foundation is still there, and something to be appreciated. I am grateful that I have family to share this day with; though we are not complete, with my daughter in Georgia, and my sister in Heaven, it is good to have someone to share this time with. I know my daughter will be with the other part of her family and that is okay. Most of all today and every day I am grateful for my God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and make sure you do something for someone that has less than you before the weekend is over. God Bless You.

Ten Days of Gratitude Day 8

Today I am grateful for my son, Jonathan. Born 29 years ago today, he is my only son and greatest challenge in life. It started in the womb; he was Franks Breach

and had to born Cesarean section. He was also a dry birth and had an infection when he was born requiring him to remain in the hospital for a week after I was dismissed. Since I wanted to nurse him, I had to go the hospital every few hours to feed him and deliver expressed milk to get him through the night. He was a wonderful baby though. He never cried without obvious reason such as being hungry or needing a diaper change. He really didn't even have a lot of problems with teething. He was easily entertained and didn't require constant attention. I thought all this was normal. When his sister came along I saw that they were very different, but thought it was the average sibling differences and sex differences. We were fairly socially isolated so I had little to compare to. It wasn't until he started school that it became obvious that he was more different than we had realized. Before he was out of Kindergarten he had been tested by a team of experts that concluded that he was psychotic. He was diagnosed with psychotic disorder not otherwise specified because he didn't fit into any one disorder, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, autism et al. He has elements of all of these disorders though. This diagnosis was, of course, quite a blow and it took a lot of therapy for me to learn that it was not my fault and how to parent a special needs child. I failed miserably in so many ways but God is gracious and Jonathan seems to not hold it against me. He left home to live on his own and managed alright with a lot of help from me and his sister but we are living together again renting my daughter's house from her since she moved away to get married. Living with him as a adult is much different and I am challenged every day by our failure to communicate. We both has mental issues, that affect our ability to communicate our attempts are often like ships passing in the night. My son is one of the few people I have ever known that has no malice in him at all. He is genuine and honest; he does not lie. This can be interesting at times, since most people live their lives with lie as a necessity. One should not ask Jonathan a question if they don't want an honest answer. That said, I can't imagine my life without my son and when I see how most young men are I feel blessed beyond measure that my son is who and how he is. Happy Birthday Son I love you.

Good Friday Musings

I am both saddened and hopeful about the meaning of this day. I am saddened by the fact that my Savior was beaten so severely his flesh was torn from His body and His face was a mass of broken bones, cuts, and bloody bruises. I am saddened by the fact that my sin held Him to the wooden death machine they nailed Him to and hung Him from. Saddened by not just His death; but death by the most hideously painful torture that existed; for me. Saddened that knowing all of this I still sin, I still sometimes decide to go my own way and ignore Him.
Hopeful; knowing that because He did what He did, that because He allowed Himself to be treated so; I can come before the throne of Holy God and not perish. Hopeful because this day, this horror is not the whole story.

Happy Easter Continued

As Paul Harvey would say; now for the rest of the story. In Mark 16 we read 1When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. 2Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb 3and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

4But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. 5As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

6"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "

8Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid. and in Luke 24 we read 50When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. 51While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. 52Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. 53And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.

Without this, Jesus' death makes no difference. Had Jesus not risen from the dead, the job was only half done. The power of sin to leave us separated from God forever, would not have been broken. But, praise God, Jesus did rise from the dead and went back to Heaven and sat down at the right hand of God. Unlike the high priests before Him, Jesus' job was finished; no other sacrifice would ever be needed. The penalty was paid by the blood of God's own Son.
Hallelujah! Jesus Lives!

It's My Birthday & I'll Cry If I Want To

I hate my birthday. I usually really do wish I were never born, and hate that on my birthday people actually want to celebrate my birth.
Ya I know it's not a good Christian attitude, but it is how I feel. Most days I can ignore how I feel about myself but this day smacks me right in the face with it.
Now I fear I sound ungrateful for all the well wishes and gifts, and that makes me feel even worse. I'm sorry. I do appreciate everything. I am just glad this day is almost over!