Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 9

Today I am grateful for my daughter.

My daughter, Danielle was not planned; I've been told one should not tell her child she was an accident but I don't agree. When I think of how I felt about my daughter at first I think of the word serendipity; it means happy accident. My daughter was definitely serendipity. Danielle was not an easy baby. She was always crying, no matter what I did, she was rarely not crying. The only times she was not crying was when she was sleeping, eating, or if I was carrying her and walking around with her. If I sat down, she would cry, if I put her in her crib, she cried...you get the picture.She began talking when she was 4 months old and has been full steam head since. She could talk the stripe off a skunk! When she started walking she was a terror; she stole food from the pantry and "cooked" in her brother's closet. She began dressing herself before she was 3 and would not let me help her at all, even when she one day tried wearing a blouse as a pair of pants. There were many times I thought she would not survive her childhood. She was defiant beyond reason and her pre-teen years had me pulling my hair out. I spent my time being ridiculously frustrated with her and being in awe of her. Her intelligence and creativity astounded me daily. Then suddenly all that was over this amazing thing happened; she became human! She was helpful and gracious. Her wit and wisdom have always been ahead of her time yet she maintains an innocence that is refreshing even now. This creature that was once my nemesis was now my ally and we became very close. She grew into a beautiful woman that is now my best friend. There are not words enough to enumerate all Danielle has done to help me above and beyond the call of family duty. Would I to try to write even half one would grow tired of ready the many pages. It is because of her that I now have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Her quest for truth led to me finding Him too. Everyone who meets her, finds her kind, engaging, and wise and I am blessed beyond description to have her a part of my life. Danielle is my treasure, my one and only daughter, my sister in Christ and my friend. I love you Sweetpea!

Ten Days of Gratitude Day 8

Today I am grateful for my son, Jonathan. Born 29 years ago today, he is my only son and greatest challenge in life. It started in the womb; he was Franks Breach

and had to born Cesarean section. He was also a dry birth and had an infection when he was born requiring him to remain in the hospital for a week after I was dismissed. Since I wanted to nurse him, I had to go the hospital every few hours to feed him and deliver expressed milk to get him through the night. He was a wonderful baby though. He never cried without obvious reason such as being hungry or needing a diaper change. He really didn't even have a lot of problems with teething. He was easily entertained and didn't require constant attention. I thought all this was normal. When his sister came along I saw that they were very different, but thought it was the average sibling differences and sex differences. We were fairly socially isolated so I had little to compare to. It wasn't until he started school that it became obvious that he was more different than we had realized. Before he was out of Kindergarten he had been tested by a team of experts that concluded that he was psychotic. He was diagnosed with psychotic disorder not otherwise specified because he didn't fit into any one disorder, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, autism et al. He has elements of all of these disorders though. This diagnosis was, of course, quite a blow and it took a lot of therapy for me to learn that it was not my fault and how to parent a special needs child. I failed miserably in so many ways but God is gracious and Jonathan seems to not hold it against me. He left home to live on his own and managed alright with a lot of help from me and his sister but we are living together again renting my daughter's house from her since she moved away to get married. Living with him as a adult is much different and I am challenged every day by our failure to communicate. We both has mental issues, that affect our ability to communicate our attempts are often like ships passing in the night. My son is one of the few people I have ever known that has no malice in him at all. He is genuine and honest; he does not lie. This can be interesting at times, since most people live their lives with lie as a necessity. One should not ask Jonathan a question if they don't want an honest answer. That said, I can't imagine my life without my son and when I see how most young men are I feel blessed beyond measure that my son is who and how he is. Happy Birthday Son I love you.