Monday, May 9, 2011

Ban Mother's Day NOW!

I hate Mother's Day! There I said it and I am sure I am now considered at best very strange; probably more like downright awful. But I stand by it, I hate it. I hate thinking about my mother history, dismal as it is. I hate myself for the mistakes I made and the ones I continue to make as a mother. I am sick of sermons extolling the virtues of good mothers, godly, Proverbs woman mothers and knowing that I am not even close. I deplore that try as I might I expect some acknowledgment as though I might deserve it. I disdain the disappointment I always end up feeling when someone didn't remember what day it is.
But yesterday hit a new low in Mother's Days for me. My son told me that he feels like he could/ can never depend on me. When I told my other child what he said; she gave a lot of excuse for his harshness and lack of tact but she didn't disagree. She didn't disagree because she can't; it is the truth. The only prize I could ever win as a mother is for being around; because I was never and will never be "there" for my children.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Mug

Blank Project Design Mug
Create custom cards for Valentines Day and Easter at Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.

This Blog Is

Like any refugee, I long for a new home to call my own, but my "homeland" of depression has a strong hold and sometimes I find myself teetering on the, nay slipping down, the edge of that awful pit God has brought me out of.

This blog is a way for me to work on the discipline of writing, and to voice my thoughts on my life and experiences on my journey to better health; mentally, physically and spiritually