Thursday, November 22, 2012

Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 10

Today I am grateful for this day. I am grateful for what this day means as a Native of the United States of America. I am grateful that a brave group of people chose to leave the tyranny of a country that told them the way they chose to worship God was wrong and refusal to go along would mean prison or worse. Though not everyone that came over with them shared their beliefs and some of them lost their way afterwards, that foundation is still there, and something to be appreciated. I am grateful that I have family to share this day with; though we are not complete, with my daughter in Georgia, and my sister in Heaven, it is good to have someone to share this time with. I know my daughter will be with the other part of her family and that is okay. Most of all today and every day I am grateful for my God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and make sure you do something for someone that has less than you before the weekend is over. God Bless You.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 9

Today I am grateful for my daughter.
My daughter, Danielle was not planned; I've been told one should not tell her child she was an accident but I don't agree. When I think of how I felt about my daughter at first I think of the word serendipity; it means happy accident. My daughter was definitely serendipity. Danielle was not an easy baby. She was always crying, no matter what I did, she was rarely not crying. The only times she was not crying was when she was sleeping, eating, or if I was carrying her and walking around with her. If I sat down, she would cry, if I put her in her crib, she cried...you get the picture.She began talking when she was 4 months old and has been full steam head since. She could talk the stripe off a skunk! When she started walking she was a terror; she stole food from the pantry and "cooked" in her brother's closet. She began dressing herself before she was 3 and would not let me help her at all, even when she one day tried wearing a blouse as a pair of pants. There were many times I thought she would not survive her childhood. She was defiant beyond reason and her pre-teen years had me pulling my hair out. I spent my time being ridiculously frustrated with her and being in awe of her. Her intelligence and creativity astounded me daily. Then suddenly all that was over this amazing thing happened; she became human! She was helpful and gracious. Her wit and wisdom have always been ahead of her time yet she maintains an innocence that is refreshing even now. This creature that was once my nemesis was now my ally and we became very close. She grew into a beautiful woman that is now my best friend. There are not words enough to enumerate all Danielle has done to help me above and beyond the call of family duty. Would I to try to write even half one would grow tired of ready the many pages. It is because of her that I now have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Her quest for truth led to me finding Him too. Everyone who meets her, finds her kind, engaging, and wise and I am blessed beyond description to have her a part of my life. Danielle is my treasure, my one and only daughter, my sister in Christ and my friend. I love you Sweetpea!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Ten Days of Gratitude Day 8

Today I am grateful for my son, Jonathan. Born 29 years ago today, he is my only son and greatest challenge in life. It started in the womb; he was Franks Breach
and had to born Cesarean section. He was also a dry birth and had an infection when he was born requiring him to remain in the hospital for a week after I was dismissed. Since I wanted to nurse him, I had to go the hospital every few hours to feed him and deliver expressed milk to get him through the night. He was a wonderful baby though. He never cried without obvious reason such as being hungry or needing a diaper change. He really didn't even have a lot of problems with teething. He was easily entertained and didn't require constant attention. I thought all this was normal. When his sister came along I saw that they were very different, but thought it was the average sibling differences and sex differences. We were fairly socially isolated so I had little to compare to. It wasn't until he started school that it became obvious that he was more different than we had realized. Before he was out of Kindergarten he had been tested by a team of experts that concluded that he was psychotic. He was diagnosed with psychotic disorder not otherwise specified because he didn't fit into any one disorder, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, autism et al. He has elements of all of these disorders though. This diagnosis was, of course, quite a blow and it took a lot of therapy for me to learn that it was not my fault and how to parent a special needs child. I failed miserably in so many ways but God is gracious and Jonathan seems to not hold it against me. He left home to live on his own and managed alright with a lot of help from me and his sister but we are living together again renting my daughter's house from her since she moved away to get married. Living with him as a adult is much different and I am challenged every day by our failure to communicate. We both has mental issues, that affect our ability to communicate our attempts are often like ships passing in the night. My son is one of the few people I have ever known that has no malice in him at all. He is genuine and honest; he does not lie. This can be interesting at times, since most people live their lives with lie as a necessity. One should not ask Jonathan a question if they don't want an honest answer. That said, I can't imagine my life without my son and when I see how most young men are I feel blessed beyond measure that my son is who and how he is. Happy Birthday Son I love you.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Ten Days of Gratitude Day

Sigh, I wrote this last night but forgot to publish it.
Today I am grateful for my mom, Della. She is not my birth mother; she died when I was eleven. This mom is my mom by choice. She married my dad when I was 15 and before she did I asked her if she would mind if I called her Mom; she replied that she would be honored and that as far as she was concerned I was her child as much as her own 3 children. She has held fast to that statement and for that alone she deserves this post about her. Yet she has done so much more. I will mention a few to give you an idea, by no means will it be comprehensive. Firstly, she gave me a glimmer of light in my dark, dark life. By the time she came along I was readily deeply depressed and suicidal. She was not in a position to do much to help me, but her love gave me a slender thread of hope that carried me through the rest my time at home. Later when I was married and a mother, when she and my dad divorced; Della called me to tell me and to reassure me that she was by no means divorcing me. She has proven that over and over again. She rode 3 days on a bus from Missouri, several times to visit us in California. She wrote letters faithfully and when I was in a destructive relationship headed nowhere, she opened her home to me and my children to come and stay with her while we got back on our feet. We stayed with her 3 months short of 2 years. Since we have been here she has been my rock and I don't know what I would have done without her. When I gave up my car because I realized it just wasn't affordable; she has been wonderful to take me to doctor appointment, grocery shopping and more whenever she was able to do so. I am so glad Della chose me to be her daughter.

Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 6

Today I am grateful for good Christian fellowship and missionaries. Okay, so I this is a day late; I really didn't forget; I just got lazy and tried doing it on my Nook to avoid turning on my computer. Problem was; when I went to do it on my Nook it wouldn't let me see what I was typing. This may not be a problem for someone who is an accurate typist but I am not. So to finish my line of thought: We had a visiting missionary from Germany at our church and a Thanksgiving carry in lunch afterwords. The missionary was quite engaging and really made Germany seem like it was just around the corner. The lunch after was a wonderful time of fellowship make sweeter by the fact that I have been too ill to attend church for the three weeks prior and so many people came up to me and told me how much the missed me and asked how I was was feeling. I am very blessed.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Ten Days of Gratitude Day 5

Today I am grateful for my Magnavox  DVD recorder that my son bought for me over 6 years ago.  I have gotten a lot of use out of it and it is still working good..  I know, we now live in the age of DVRs and what I have is; to most, obsolete  Yet I am not one whom is easily persuaded to pay for television.  Local channels don't come in well where I live, so for some years I was paying for basic cable at $13.per month. When the cable company decided to drop basic cable from their line-up and therefore raised the rate; I called and told them to cancel my service.  The representative on the phone asked the reason and when I told I could not afford to pay the rate he asked if the could give me the same channels I had been  getting for $5 per month. Of course I said yes and happily paid that amount for the next 2 years.  When the cable company decided to raise rates once again, I canceled.  I like to watch television, but I know I don't need to watch a lot of it and don't see why I should pay over $30 a month to be lulled into watching more of it.  I do; however, have some favorite shows, and don't like to miss them when  I have to out or when two of them come on at the same time on different channels.  With my wonderful dvd  recorder I don't have to miss them; as long I don't forget to do it, that is!
Thank you son, for this gift that keeps on giving.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 4

Today I am grateful for BSF (Bible Study Fellowship).  BSF is a non-denominational, international  Bible Study program that takes one through an entire book of the Bible or group of books ie Minor Prophets, through notes, study questions, discussion groups, and lecture.  This fourfold approach works well to get into God's Word and understand how to apply it to one's life.  I have attended BSF for about 5 years off and on and it has been a huge blessing in my life.  I have learned so much about myself and God through these studies and have also made some great friends and prayer warriors.
If you are looking for something to make  you feel more connected to God, and the body of Christ; I highly recommend you consider  joining a BSF group near you. For more information go here

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 3

Today I am grateful for my Bissell Steam Mop.  This is one of the most rewarding products I have ever purchased.  It makes mopping the floor ten times less the work it is with a mop and bucket.  It is also less expensive than something like the Swiffer  Mop. There are no cleaners to buy, no residue on the floor; especially important to me with pets in the house. One of my dogs gets in moods where she just starts licking the floor; I would worry for her if I were using cleaning products on the floors.  Yep Steam Mops are the greatest!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Ten Days Of Gratitude Day 2

Today i am grateful for every day I have not had a migraine. I have a migraine about once month on average and they usually last a day or so. I know people who have migraines at least weekly and that often last many days. I am so grateful I am not one of those people! I just wish no one had to suffer with them.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Ten Days Of Gratitude Day One

This is day one of ten I will attempt to post regularly from now until Thanksgiving day. Perhaps I will be able to form a habit that will continue. Today I am thankful for Veterans. Yesterday was Veteran's Day here the good old USA and i am glad we have set aside this day to honor those who make the sacrifice to serve our country knowing that in doing so they may be asked to pay the ultimate price. I grew up in a time of peace, for the most part. Vietnam fell when I was just coming of age and most people's view of Veteran's of that war were quite negative. I still am driven to tears to think of the shameful way our society treated Vietnam Vets. I wish I could go to each one individually; hold their hands, look them in the eyes and apologize and thank them. I am grateful for the sacrifice of so many soldiers, and to their families. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am grateful that our schools attempt to educate children on what Veteran's day means by having Vets come and speak at the schools on Veteran's Day. When I went to school we had the day off of school and I really didn't know why until my father sat me down one day and told me. He would have gone to fight in Korea had he not fallen ill with Rheumatic Fever just after boot camp. I think he felt guilty that he got to stay home while some many of his compatriots didn't make it back. I am grateful that many businesses honor our Vets by offering free meals and discounts on Veterans Day. It matters not if one supports war or not, the soldier deserves one's gratitude regardless. Many of those who are in the Military now signed up in a time of peace, simply to have access to educational opportunities, or to support their families. I hope you too are grateful to our Veterans and take every opportunity to show them that you are. HAVE YOU HUGGED A SOLDIER LATELY?

This Blog Is

Like any refugee, I long for a new home to call my own, but my "homeland" of depression has a strong hold and sometimes I find myself teetering on the, nay slipping down, the edge of that awful pit God has brought me out of.

This blog is a way for me to work on the discipline of writing, and to voice my thoughts on my life and experiences on my journey to better health; mentally, physically and spiritually