Here's To You Lonely Blog Follower

I gather from an email that was sent to me with writing suggestions that someone misses my writing. I do apologize for the lengthy absence. I really am having trouble with the whole motivation to write thing. It seems often the motivation strikes and the computer is not available and then it's gone. Yes, it is a flimsy excuse since all I need do is ask to use the computer but oh well: there it is.

Big sigh and onward.

I have a lot on my mind lately regarding my father.
In order to understand how all of this transpired one must first somewhat understand the dynamic of my family. My father is married to a woman who is only about 5 years older than me; wife number 4. She has done some things that, well just say if I were Santa Claus she would be on the naughty list for life. My brothers and I do not have a working relationship for some bad things in my past. I don't want to go into detail just trust me when I say it is not petty. Okay, so here we go. I found out by reading a comment one of my brothers had posted on Facebook that some thing was wrong with my dad. I called to find out that he had been taken to a hospital ER due to having passed out. When I called his wife didn't say much just what that he had passed out on the kitchen floor. She then handed the phone to my dad and he said a doctor had not been in to see him yet. I thought I would get a call back when information was available. I was wrong. I did not hear back and when I called back I was told he has a blockage in his neck. I was not told how much of a blockage is was but told that he would have surgery the following day which was a Sunday. I got home from church and checked my phone; no one had called. I thought maybe they got a late start on the surgery so I waited a few more hours. No one called so I called again only to find out the surgery had been postponed. On Monday the same brother posted on Facebook that he was wanting prayer for my dad adding that he had 90% blockage in his neck. The routine was the same Monday; no one called me. I called and talked to my dad again and he told me the blockage had been removed and he was waiting to find out when he could go home. (My dad hates hospitals more than most people) Something about the way he was talking made me realize he wasn't really clear on what was done to him so I called the nurses station and asked for information. I was told he had had a heart capacity test and no stent was put in or anything done with his neck. By then I was ready to scream and throw things in frustration! Here I am stuck hundreds of miles away with no one to get any real information from!

I continued to call every day, sometimes twice a day to try to find out what was going on. He continued to believe that he would be released any time. When I called Tuesday he said the doctor had not come back in to see him at all on Monday and he was fed up and wanted to go home and have his church pray for him. Sure enough, when I called back later that day he was home.

God has been dealing with me about trusting Him and I have to say this one has been a whopper of a trial in that regard. I know God can heal my dad miraculously and completely without the help of modern medicine. But I also know all wisdom comes from him and doctors are gifted by Him. Yet I can't make my dad choose to let doctors do what they want to do and I can't intervene. Okay God, here I am trusting You that You have all this in Your Mighty hands and if You choose to take my dad home to You I will have to be okay with that. I want to see him again before that happens but I know I will see him again in any case.

The Commercialization Of Church-Money Changers In The Temple?

Please hear me when I say that I am not trying to sow dissention among believers by anything that I write. I am writing my thoughts and opinions as of this moment which may change as God gives me knowledge or conviction on them.

It has been on my mind for a while now what I see happening over and over again with churches. I see several in my community and many more nationwide that seem to missing the point. I say seem to because I don't go to all of them. However God's Word says we will know by their fruit and the fruit I am seeing is not pleasant to eye or good for food as it were.

One thing I see a lot are electronic signs going up at churches. I know we live in the age of information and we want to give people what they crave by putting everything we have available on a sign. I get it, I really do. But I don't like it. I don't like it one little bit. When I see electronic signs at a church it just doesn't feel right. I seems more like a business. Of course that is what a lot of churches have become; businesses. Many are incorporated; like a business and it makes me think of Jesus throwing the money changers out of the temple.

*sigh* And then there are the coffee bars and bookstores inside some churches. Hey I love me some coffee and I am all for having a fellowship time around coffee before church. I am not for selling the coffee. Again, I get the idea behind it; serve up some lattes and make sure people actually get to the service on time because they didn't have to stop at a Starbucks or some such place before church. I get wanting to be relevant and all that. Maybe the price of the coffee only covers the cost of making it; I don't know. I have never attended a church that has a coffee bar in it. I have only seen one when attending a concert at a church and the coffee bar was not open at the time. Still it seems to me to be a slipper slope. Just what lengths will churches go to in order to be trendy? Will we put circus performers in the lobbies? Will we have Ice Bucket challenges in masse in the church parking lot?

I hear the argument for these things to be that we are called to outreach the get them hooked then reel them in
thinking. But aren't Jesus and the Apostles our examples of outreach? Did they go into a town and put on a show? No, they came proclaiming the Gospel. Yes, Jesus and the Apostles performed miracles but never in a showman way of doing it. In fact Jesus often withdrew from the crowds after performing a miracle. Look at your Bible in the Gospels and see if I am not right. When we worry more about how many people we have in church than sharing the Gospel in church I believe we have missed the point.

Just when did the Gospel, the fact that God's Son left Heaven, became a little baby, grew into a man without sin and allowed Himself to be murdered, rose from the dead and ascended back into Heaven so that anyone who believes on Him would be free of the curse of sin and live with God forever; when did this Gospel become boring? When did the Gospel become irrelevant? When did the Gospel start coming in second to programs and hooks?

I am often asked if I watch this preacher or that preacher on television. Most people are shocked that I do not. I don't because many of them are more about hawking their special study Bible, or their book, etc. than preaching the Word of God. Many spend more time asking, nay pleading for money than they do helping one understand more of what the Bible says and how to apply it to our lives. Many live in mansions and drive expensive cars while widows and orphans go without to support their ministry
. Many speak at churches that are filled to the brim with people in expensive suits and designer dresses and shoes who would turn away a homeless person outside the church but give faithfully to support the ministry. ( I have nothing against wealthy Christians per say just those who are hearers of the Word and not doers of the Word who put themselves on pedestals claiming God has blessed them) No, don't watch most preachers on television. I hear and see on Facebook people quoting some TV preacher or other and I just shake my head. When did we decide we would rather follow men who talk well instead of Jesus?

These are things I ponder when I see those electronic church signs. And I pray, I pray that what people find inside that church isn't as flashy as the sign; but more glorious than a million blinking lights- the truth from God's Word.

Getting tired here folks; hope I didn't ramble too much.

Grace and peace CAC

Public Mourns The Death Of Robin Williams

I am and many more are shocked to find out that Robin Williams; America's beloved actor and funny man; has apparently committed suicide. I am not a celebrity watcher, I feel that just because someone is famous doesn't give me the right to know every detail of his or her life. Therefore I had no idea Mr. Williams was suffering from depression. I also did not know that he had recently relapsed into drug use. I did know from hearing others talk that he had battled drug addiction. I do know that often the drug addiction and depression go hand in hand. His family is asking privacy at his horrific juncture in their lives, and I do hope they are allowed this humble and reasonable request. I know first hand what losing someone to suicide is like and I know how every one thinking they know details just makes it harder. My goal in writing about this is for one purpose and one purpose only; to shine a light on the need for education, treatment and de-stigmatization regarding depression. The time has come dear public, to shed the blinders we have on that mental illness is rare and won't touch our lives. We need to get serious about getting the word out that being mentally ill makes one week or odd. We need to get it our of our heads that depression is a sometimes feeling that goes away after a while. Though many people may only have one or a few problems with clinical depression there are also a lot of people for whom depression never really goes away. There are of course many posts on Facebook about Mr. Williams death and one just really got to me. A well meaning person said

Depression IS treatable. Medicine, counseling and faith can change things

. There is nothing inherently wrong with this but it just seems trite to me. Really, do you think Mr. Williams didn't seek help? Do you think his loving family didn't make every effort to make sure he went to counseling and doctors? Depression is so much more complicated than this quote indicates that it is. I watched for the third or fourth time a few days ago and movie called Ordinary People . The movie is a portrait of a family who are grieving the loss of the eldest of two sons in a boating accident. The portrait picks up at what appears to be a few months after the younger son has attempted suicide by slitting his wrists. If you have never seen this movie I highly recommend that you find it and watch it Mary Tyler Moore and Donald Sutherland are the parents and deliver a stellar performance along with Timothy Hutton playing the part of the younger son, Conrad. At one point in the movie a girl asks Conrad why he did it and he says;

It's like falling into a hole; a hole that keeps getting bigger and bigger. And you can't get out and all of the sudden it's inside you; you're the hole and your trapped and it's all over.

This is one the most accurate descriptions I have ever heard of what it feels like to be suicidal. My thoughts and prayers are with Mr. Williams family. The coming days, weeks and months will bring much pain. There will abundant sorrow, there will be guilt and there will be anger. I pray that somehow in the midst of all of these, the message of hope in Christ will get through and bring them comfort and peace. If you know someone who battles depression; don't tell them to suck it up. Don't tell them to pray and all will be well. Tell them to get help and be there for them, to listen and tell them the truth. Stay up all night with them if need be, stay up 2 nights in a row if need be. If you don't feel up to doing this or to help you out use this information and lift them to the Throne of Grace and pray to Almighty God that they will get help and choose life. Grace and peace CAC

In Which Molten Lava Flows From Her Mouth

I feel sometimes like I am a volcano. Trying so hard to leave so many things unsaid , so many thoughts not spoken, so many tears un-shed that I become unstable and suddenly erupt with little or no warning. Most people would never guess this of me. They wouldn't believe that I could anything but quiet and sweet. They don' realize that I am filled with smoldering lava. It stays there and it simmers; waiting for a that moment when all is quiet and seemingly calm; to boil and erupt; and burn every good thing that has grown, every step of progress made, and every hope ever dreamed.
Most people do not know that I am a monster.

But God knows, and somehow, He doesn't turn away, He doesn't turn His back and say "you are not worthy of my love, monster" Instead God embraces me and speaks in my ear softly of a love I cannot comprehend. He speaks of a love that sacrifices the very Son Of God, to save me. A love that doesn't exclude monsters, but instead tells me I am made in the very image of God and I am beautiful.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.