I guess in retrospect I should have saved my post about being thankful for my son for today because today is his birthday. You might want to check out his blog here.
I told the pastor and he called him out in front of the whole church.My daughter would not have been happy had I done that to her but Jonathan just rolled with it; he's cool like that.
I digress though. I am grateful for him but since I already wrote about him I guess I can't use him as my post.
I am thankful for HOPE; something I don't always feel and actually spent most of my life without. I lose my way a lot and forget that I have hope; but I do. I have hope because I know Jesus and He is Hope. I know what it is to be hopeless, not just to feel hopeless ( I put myself there sometimes too) but I'm talking about without hope. To have nothing to look forward to but pain and nothing to live for. I have stood in front of a mirror with a knife at my heart begging for the courage to end my life. Sat with a packet of razor blades in my hands trying through the tears to see how to open the locked plastic package, I have found myself wishing I owned a gun so I could stick in mouth and pull the trigger, I am guilty of making a plan for when I finally work of the courage. Oh yes I know what it is to have no hope . Yes I know hopelessness all too well. But praise be to God Almighty I finally found Hope in Him. Does that mean every day from then on has been rosey? If you've read any of my blog before, or spent much time with me; you know the answer is no. It's not all hearts and sunshine; God does not promise us an easy life but most of my troubles I bring on myself by forgetting I have Hope. I take my eyes off of Him and put them on my situation, on my hurts, on my disappointments and forget. I look at what the everyone around me thinks I should have instead of living in the truth that if I have Him I don't need anything else.
Thank You God that you are Hope; You give me Hope, Help me remember I have hope and that You are all I need
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