Well, well, well. Is anyone still following this? I am sorry I have been silent so very long. I will blame my ancient (really 7 yrs old is ancient?) desktop computer. It is so slow that by the time I would actually get my blog to load I was too frustrated to actually write anything! However, I now have no excuse because when my beautiful daughter finally came to visit me from the deep south she brought me her old laptop computer. Funny that is works great and it is almost twice as old as the desktop. So sans that excuse maybe I will get back to posting more regularly, but for tonight I will have to make this all I write because I am very tired. God bless you if haven't given up on me. Post a comment and let me know you're out there ok? Thanks TTFN

National What Day?

Ok I just saw something on Twitter that made me very sad. Today is National Coming Out Day No it is not for debutantes. Wow a day set aside for people to feel free to admit to being homosexual, gay, lesbian, or whatever one is supposed to call it. Really? Do we need such a thing? Do we as a nation really need such a day? Do we have a National Adulterers day? Do we have National Gossipers day? Do we set aside a day for slanderers, idolaters, or murderers? Oh how about National Child Molesters Day?
DO NOT misunderstand me I am NOT promoting hate, again I am NOT PROMOTING HATE! I love, choose to love all people. I am not in a position to judge anyone. I am a sinner, I am not better than anyone; I am the lowest of the low. But I tremble in fear for a Nation who sets aside such a day in a time when we are on the brink of disaster at every turn and need the ear of God to heal or nation and our world. I shudder to think what our Founding Fathers would say about about how twisted powerless their words and ideals have become.
The Bible is clear on what happens to a nation that refuses to turn from her sin; will we ever begin to listen?

Another thought; what if your local church were to start a National or Annual Coming To Christ Day? What would that look like in your towns and neighborhoods? How would it be reported in the media? Food for thought, munch munch.

What? Update? Really? YES finally

Ya well what can I say; you've heard it all before. I am saddened a great deal by the gaps -canyons- between my postings.
You see it is not that I don't have anything to say; it is that I have so much to say I get tired just at the thought of trying to narrow my thoughts and ideas down and make it into a cohesive group of words.
Some of the problem too is my computer; it hates me. It really hates me being online. I switched browsers and that has helped some but not enough. I probably have some sort of junk on my computer that the programs I have to remove junk can't remove.
See a computer for me is like a car is for some people. Said people use the car to move them from point A to point B; know to put gas in it and maybe think of putting oil in or changing it if a light comes on and won't go off But said drivers don't check tire pressure,nor check the battery or bother with radiator fluid and the like. All said people know is that after a while the car just stops working.
I know how to so some tings on my computer; rely on it for certain things. I have a virus protection program and I have a couple of programs that I run to " clean up" my computer. I have no idea, however, what those programs actually do and I have no clue if they are doing a good job or not. What I do know is that it no longer works the way it used to work and that when I want to do something online it seems to think I have all day to sit and wait for pages to load. Even though I have DSL I often wonder if dial up could be any slower.
Back to all the things I have to say...I need to bite the bullet and get things written down before my head explodes; or would that be implode? Oh well, just saying I said all that to say I am going to try to write more and if anyone is still following me; please kick me in the backside once in a awhile OK?
More later, I promise...
Before I go please pray for my mom and my sister Lillie; Lillie has Hep C . She has been unconscious for over a week brought on by high ammonia in her blood. She has pneumonia in both lungs, her kidneys are failing because her liver is dead and the shunts put in her liver have clogged. We waited almost a week for her to be transferred to the hospital that her liver doctor works out of. Her doctor ordered meds to keep her in a coma so she is not suffering, however if her lungs do not clear up, there is little that can done be done for her. To make matters worse my mom can't stay with her as she is hospitalized in a hospital that is 2 hours away and she can't afford lodging there.
Thanks and God bless you!

I am a whore

I don't know how the pastor of your church introduces his sermon on Sunday but this song was how ours introduced his sermon this week.
I was introduced to this song by my daughter so I was familiar with it; a good half of the congregation were not; I could tell by the looks on their faces. Some of them had looks revulsion or anger at the crude words. But overall the reaction was one of pure repentance as one by one we saw ourselves as we truly are.
I cried all the way through the song as note by note conviction tore me apart until I was, once again, seeing myself in perspective. I forget so easily what Jesus' death
rescues me from every day that I let Him. So often I find myself talking about some one like I am better than they are or some such foolishness. But I am not, I am a whore and I need God's mercy and forgiveness; I need Jesus blood every second of every day.

Ban Mother's Day NOW!

I hate Mother's Day! There I said it and I am sure I am now considered at best very strange; probably more like downright awful. But I stand by it, I hate it. I hate thinking about my mother history, dismal as it is. I hate myself for the mistakes I made and the ones I continue to make as a mother. I am sick of sermons extolling the virtues of good mothers, godly, Proverbs woman mothers and knowing that I am not even close. I deplore that try as I might I expect some acknowledgment as though I might deserve it. I disdain the disappointment I always end up feeling when someone didn't remember what day it is.
But yesterday hit a new low in Mother's Days for me. My son told me that he feels like he could/ can never depend on me. When I told my other child what he said; she gave a lot of excuse for his harshness and lack of tact but she didn't disagree. She didn't disagree because she can't; it is the truth. The only prize I could ever win as a mother is for being around; because I was never and will never be "there" for my children.

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Good Friday Musings

I am both saddened and hopeful about the meaning of this day. I am saddened by the fact that my Savior was beaten so severely his flesh was torn from His body and His face was a mass of broken bones, cuts, and bloody bruises. I am saddened by the fact that my sin held Him to the wooden death machine they nailed Him to and hung Him from. Saddened by not just His death; but death by the most hideously painful torture that existed; for me. Saddened that knowing all of this I still sin, I still sometimes decide to go my own way and ignore Him.
Hopeful; knowing that because He did what He did, that because He allowed Himself to be treated so; I can come before the throne of Holy God and not perish. Hopeful because this day, this horror is not the whole story.