Overdue

I am late in getting to many things of late, not the least of which is replying to my daughter's last few posts.
They are so deeply moving I feel inadequate to comment in my simple convoluted writing style. To say I am amazed is redundant yet true, to say I am moved to tears to see the incredible growth I have seen take place in her over these last months would be a gross understatement of the facts. She stepped out of her comfort zone, which was more difficult than one could imagine; made herself vulnerable in a way she didn't think she was capable of doing and God has been, as always, faithful beyond comprehension. I cannot voice the emotions swirling around in my heart over this. To watch her take these brave steps was so hard, yet it was I who held her hand while she did, just as I did when she began to stand and wobble as baby. I did not want to see her fall, yet I called to her from the across the room when she stood on the cusp of taking her first steps and said " come to me, I know you can do it". To say I am proud of her seems off somehow but I cannot come up with another was of putting it. I don't take any credit for the way she is, in fact I feel she is who she is in spite of me, I also don't credit her completely; though she is amazingly mature and intelligent. I know she would not be the woman she is without Christ tempering her pride and calling her out of herself.
I have made so many mistakes in parenting my children, and I just thank God He has had mercy on them and me, that those mistakes have not cost them as dearly as they could have.
I hope this will serve a sufficient comment my dear one.
I am also late in posting here, both in general and specifically. I mentioned I would be posting about my diet progress soon and as yet have not. I will do so in my next post; no later than tomorrow, I promise.
Neglect seems to sum up my life of late.
I have not been going to church much at all the last couple of months. I have been having a lot of trouble with my back and sitting in church is agonizing, as is standing. I feel like I am disappointing my daughter every time I don't make it, and I am disappointed in myself as well. If I were to be totally honest with myself I would have to say that if I didn't feel neglected by certain people I would try harder to push through the pain and go anyway. Whew, that was hard!
OK, as I said my back hurts so I am going to have to get out of this computer chair and get more comfortable so I need to make this the end of this post.

Bumping

and bumping, one says to herself, " you had to ask".

My children have been great at nudging me, maybe a little too good. No sitting on ones laurels now!
So I have been bumped, now what to write?



I have discovered Facebook, and should have known when the first person warned me not to get addicted, but I'm slow. By the time the second person warned me I was well on my way down addiction highway. Of course I can stop anytime I want to. Oh hang on it's been half an hour since I checked---um ya well---but---Facebook really is interesting, I think over half the attraction is figuring out how everything works. I am so nosey, I see something on someone's profile and I need to know how they did that, or where they found that. Some people think I am smart because I figure out how to use functions on cell phones et al but really it's just that I am just curious.
That's it for now. Thanks for the bumps J & D :P
Update on GI Diet progress coming soon!

Too Tired To Write

and in too much pain to think so enjoy some video of thunderstorms :) The first two are mine the other is from YouTube shot from an airplane during a thunderstorm.

Can You Tell I LIke This?

The Flip is so much fun!
You probably also don't realize I really like my pets, I mean I never post anything with them in it :P

Not To Beat A Dead Horse

but reading Job has brought up some things I am still struggling to move past. A few months ago I wrote some things that were critical of a group of people. I admit it was not the wisest thing I have ever done. I did not think about how it could be taken by some. I deleted the posts soon after and then just went ahead and deleted the whole blog. What niggles at my brain is how a someone I considered my best friend reacted to it, and her actions surrounding it. I had posted a lot of good things proir to that, lots of poetry and the like and not once did she comment on any of it. No, encourgement, praise, critquie, nothing. Then all of sudden wham. I guess I am still reeling from it somewhat.
Now I am reading Job ( the only thing I can usually say it great about August,;my Daily Bible put me in Job about midway through and I feel almost like I have come home again). I get to around Chapter 4 where Job's friends begin to talk. Eliphaz says Job has sinned and that he is being chastened by God; and while I am reading Jobs response to this it hits me. This is how I felt at that time and still do. I read Job's words in, Chapter 6:14-21 that really express what I feel as well as these later on - " you undermine your friend" and, " but you are forgers of lies, you are worthless physicians. Oh that you would be silent, and it would be your wisdom" or " Miserable comforters are you"
You see what Job's friends were saying was not all wrong; most of it was dead on right theologically. But they lacked compassion for Job and judged his position with God by his circumstances. I feel this is what my friend did to me. Had she been keeping up with my blog she should have known that I was not, as she accused, depending on others to lift my burdens from me rather than looking to God. She would have realized were it not for God's strength things would have been more than I could bear and I would be either dead or in the hospital's psych ward. But instead she assumed since I was pointing out that I had been abandoned by this group of people, that I was in need of admonishment for assuming someone owed me something or that I was being ungrateful for prior help.
Sigh, I know I need to move past this, I know I need to forgive and that part of that is letting it go, in spite of the fact that one never apologized for the attack. I need Jesus to show me how far the east is from the west; and show me how to fling these feelings that far.
Like Job, God spoke to me about my attitude and showed me that I could have leaned on Him more and accepted things for what they were without lashing becasue He was and is in control; but unlkie Job, God didn't put my friend in her place for me. Is this what I expect, or want? I mean imagine how those friends of Job must have felt after God spoke to them like that, small enough to " crawl under the floor", I would think. I don't want anyone to experience that on my behalf; I am not worthy of that by a long shot. Job afterall was blameless and upright, so not me.
But I do wonder sometimes what became of Job's relationship with his friends after this. Did their friendship continue, did it change?
Sigh, oh well I guess I will lay my stick down now, poor horse has surely had enough.

Rebuttals upon rebuttals

I feel like I stirred a hornets nest by what I said in my earlier post . Just to be clear I must say I do not disagree at all with what my daughter said. I understand where she is coming from and agree with her. What this guy said, though erroneous, was none the less what she needed to hear to make her see she had chosen the better thing. ( remember the talking donkey?)
It is so easy to get caught up in doing Christian activities, to be drawn into events with fellow believers and forget what is important; our relationship with Christ and showing that relationship to the lost. We can't very well reach the lost if we are always hanging out with believers. Community within the church is becoming, it seems, more important than reaching out to our community in general. If you ask the average Christian to come to lets say a Creative Memories Party (which, by the say I am having Monday in case I missed getting an invitation to you) 90% will tell you they are too busy. Too busy doing what? Bible Studies, Small Group meetings, preparation for SG Meetings, helping out in the Nursery, cleaning the church building and grounds, planning a baby shower, organizing a retreat, and of course family obligations. All good things every last one. I am just using the party as an example but it could be lots of things. Maybe someone calls to ask one to go out to lunch but doesn't want to say on the phone how heavy her heart is and what she really needs is someone to talk with and pray with? You see how it is? What is being neglected while so many are so very busy? Who is being neglected? This is part of what my daughter struggles against, sees the danger in and wants to avoid. We also tend to neglect our own prayer life and study of the Word when we are so caught up in all those good things we are doing.
I am reminded as I write of the parable of the Wedding Feast; veres 5 especially. They went their own ways, perhaps with important things begging their attention?
Hope this quiets the hornets, blowing smoke works on bees anyway. :)

More Fun With The Flip and Movie Making

Here is my Maria playing with our neighbor and his dog.