And The Winner is....

For the Chantel Hobbs books The random number generator picked number 1 so Jonathan Cardwell wins. However, since Jonathan is my son and intends only to sell what he gets I am going to split the pack and award The Never Say Diet Personal Fitness Trainer to the other commenter. So congratulations to Jonathan and Dawn. If you will email me your information I will get your books to you. Thanks for your support.

Love is in the air... The Valentines Blog Tour

In his book Love As a Way of Life , best-selling author Gary Chapman shows readers how to cultivate a new lifestyle built around the seven characteristics of authentic love. Now in a companion devotional, he provides ninety inspirational readings to help Christians consistently live out the characteristics of love in every relationship.

Each devotional entry showcases biblical truths that guide a life of love, offering fresh insight and practical guidance in how to make love a lasting habit. Over the course of three months, readers will learn to follow God’s lead as they practice the characteristics of a loving person: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty.

The Love As a Way of Life Devotional makes an ideal gift for the holidays or for any special occasion. Couples, parents, new graduates, and anyone celebrating a milestone in life will welcome this inspiring daily guide to richer, more satisfying relationships.

Author Bio:

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of twenty-six books, including the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages, with more than 4 million copies in print. His daily radio program, A Love Language Minute, is broadcast on more than 100 stations nationwide. Dr. Chapman, a graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Wheaton College, Wake-Forest University, and Southwestern Seminary, serves on a church staff in North Carolina.

I have just begun to read this and it has already made me cry. It is chock full of wonderful reminders of God's love for us and how that can and should affect our daily lives. If you have read any of Dr Chapman's other works, you have some idea of how eloquent he is, yet you will be encouraged and challenged afresh in this amazing little book. If you have not read Dr Chapman before, let this be the first taste of his insight, then go on and find his other books for more.


You may know the routine by now; leave a comment for a chance to receive a free copy of Love As A Way Of Life. I will select a winner on Valentines Day by random number generator.

You can purchase this book here

Pinpricks Enlarging

Well I managed to drag myself to church (late) today for the first time in 3 weeks. I didn't make it to the other services but came in just before the Pastoral Prayer so I got to hear the special music and participate in Worship. The music was nice, though the Praise Band on today performs more than lead, but it was much better than not going at all.
I have been telling people who ask how I have been, more than in passing , the truth; that I am depressed and not doing well. I don't know why, but I have a hard time admitting my struggles to most people,especially emotional ones. But I am figuring out, duh, that if no one knows, no one can pray, which is what is going to help more than anything.
I managed to pop my knee out while working in AWANA this evening so now I dealing with that pain and swelling and aggravation. Add that to my back and legs screaming at me for all the shoveling I did after the storm here and trying to catch up on laundry; why am I always behind?
And yet today overall I have to say, has been a better day, a brighter day as I am allowing God's Love to penetrate my cold and lonely heart.
Once again, thank you for your prayers and encouragement.

Pinpricks Of Light

My sweet daughter shared a song with me earlier this evening. I have listened to it three times now,and am beginning to feel the Light penetrating.

Thank you dear daughter, thank you to those who have commented, and prayed, and thank YOU God. Please let me feel Your love.">

Darkness

It swirls around me
And I can't see
The path I'm on
Much less where I should be

It seeps into
Every thought and deed
It chokes out the hardiest
Most viral seed

And just when the blackness
Seems at it's peak
It deepens and thickens
All hope to cease

Now it's not just around me
But in me as well
Can there be anything worse
Save being in hell?

My spirit is crushed
My ambition long lost
Once I dared hope
And look at the cost!

Through this darkness I travel
Bruised, battered and worn
No light on the horizon
No sunlight to mourn

I know God is with me
But silent He remains
As the tears echo softly
Like a lullabies' refrain.

I know I'll not perish
From this journey I take
But it is what I I wish for
For everyone's sake.

CarolAnn Cardwell Feb 6, 2009


My daughter was fired from her job today. The hits just keep on coming.

Walls of Silence

It is said one's job as a parent is never done and I agree wholeheartedly with this statement. But one can't parent a child forever either and therein is the conundrum.
When one's child becomes an adult and one has not raised them as in the best of ways most of their lives; one is faced with a lot of drama.
I find myself, as a parent who made a ton of mistakes, with seeing my daughter suffer for those mistakes. Not just that, but since my failures(along with those of her father's) have instilled in her a deep lack of trust; she also will not talk to me about her struggles. She doesn't believe that there is nothing she could do that would make me stop loving her, and she doesn't believe I can help her. Her belief is founded in how she saw me most of her childhood. I have been profoundly depressed most of her life and when she needed me most, I was often too caught up in my own pain to notice, and now I fear the same thing is happening again. I have been going through an especially hard time with depression for over 4 months and I have just been struck with this odd feeling the last few days that something has happened, that I have once again missed some pivotal time event or struggle in her life. I see her hurting and I hurt for her, but we pass through our days in silence, pretending our respective walls of pain are merely small hills or bumps.
Trust is an issue for me as well, though I deal express it differently. I tend to give everyone trust just so I watch them break that trust proving to myself that I was right all along and no one can be trusted. My daughter on the other hand holds on to trust like it was precious jewels that she must guard with her life. She would rather die than relinquish it.
How can we learn to stop being the people our past has made us and learn to be the people God knows we can be?

GI Diet 8 Months

I have been promising this /embed> /object>"> /a> for months and finally got it done.